Gene Chizik? Really?

In this morning's post, Dane and Bird give you their opinions on how back Auburn sucks.

(Dane's Point of View)

It's Chizik. Gene Chizik.

Oh, that name is familiar, but you don't know who that is? That's because he was the defensive coordinator at Auburn during their undefeated season, but basically fell of the face of the football earth when he posted a 5-19 record at Iowa State. You would think that few tears would be shed for a coach with that kind of output, but according to ISU's AD, this is a "significant setback".


A few words of comfort to the dozen Cyclones fans out there - don't worry, he'll get what is coming to him for, um, snubbing your prestigious program. Ol' Gene is basically stepping into a meatgrinder built of unfair expectations from an rabid, borderline out-of-control fanbase and the fact that, well, Auburn (a team with a pretty good recent history) just put Gene Chizik in charge of it's program to battle the juggernaut that is Nick Saban (somebody who was basically already owning Tuberville in every facet of the game within a season of his hiring).

So, expect Chizik's blood to be spilled, figuratively and very possibly literally, within the next three seasons. After all, these are the same toothless hicks that shot, yes, with a gun, our beloved Ramblin' Reck during a visit to Auburn. This is gonna be ugly, folks. Can't say I feel bad for anybody involved.


(Bird's point of view)

Personally, I don't mind the hiring of Gene Chizik. I also have a strong dispassion for all things Auburn only reinforced by some of my coworkers who love the shitty university and its complete disregard for rules, regulations, and academia.

Auburn...you deserve what you got. You fired a winning, experienced coach because he got beat one time by Nick Saban. Great call. Way to think long term. Stability and Auburn will not be in the same sentence for another ten years. And all of the Auburn fans with their moonshine, blunderbusses, and snaggle teeth will fade away until they have another undefeated season that doesn't matter.

What will this yield for GT? I'd like to think there are more possible recruits from Alabama for GT in the future. Kids that grew up Auburn fans but don't want to play at the joke that is Auburn.

Patrick Nix to AU

According to the AJC, Auburn interviewed the worst offensive coordinator in the history of the ACC. Congrats Auburn, I hope you hire him. I don't like Pat Nix or Auburn.

Whenever I think of Auburn fans, I envision all of them sounding like Conan O'Brien's character the Interrupter:

John: "I don't think..."
Auburn Fan: "...Pat Nix will pull us from mediocrity."
John: "Well, I didn't really want to..."
Auburn Fan: "...put it so harshly but really mean it on the inside."
John: "Auburn..."
Auburn Fan: "...will never be a perennial powerhouse and has an enormous inferiority complex towards Bear, Saban, and the burgundy elephant."

Things don't make sense at Auburn

Tommy got fired.

Everyone wanted Tommy fired.

Everyone outside of Auburn said WTF.

...

In Auburn, Tommy fires you!

What?

Back to school