Careful, Bobby Lowder. Will Muschamp will break you in half across his knee if you screw with him. Start schemeing behind his back, and he will f***ing stick you. If he leaves a head coaching job at Texas in the dust for somewhere else, he isn't gonna to take shit from nobody.
You've been warned.
Look for Will Muschamp to get the head coaching job later today, or never. Both are just as likely as far as anyone really knows.
In other news, my stats final starts in 30 seconds.
Afternoon Note: An Auburn paper does a pretty good analysis on the circus they call the Auburn coaching search. Read it here.
After years of taking some of the nation's greatest talent, dropping it in the crapper, taking a wicked deuce, and flushing it all away, Tommy Bowden of the Clemson Tigers is, well, not of the Clemson Tigers anymore.
After a ridiculously ugly game Thursday night at Winston-Salem, everyone was on the lookout to see if the guillotine was being rolled out and greased up. Well, Bowden's proverbial head has now hit the basket, and we look to absolutely destroy the Tigers come the 18th.
Since deep down inside I actually love Clemson, I will keep this coaching change under a very watchful eye. Two of the biggest candidates for the switch are Will Muschamp, who I introduced you to last Friday, and Bobby Johnson of Vanderbilt.
Ever since playing soccer for Coach Ruzic my freshman year of high school, I have not been able to get enough of coaches that at times seem batshit crazy. You know, one of those people who, if they carried their demeanor into any other setting, would be immediately labeled as an asshole boss/abusive father/average schoolbus driver/psychopath. Coach Ruzic had tendency to critique deadlift or squat techniques with the normal direction of your rectum, using a very tight "OK" sign as illustration ("Your butthole should be able to sit flat against the wall, Kalejta!"). Those who dwell on the wrong side of the socially acceptable line are probably the single greatest source of jollity in my life.
Will Muschamp was a DB for the University of Georgia - however, I consider him one of the "righteous ones," like Alton Brown of Good Eats. His pedigree also includes coaching linebackers and later acting as defensive coordinator for Nick Saban's LSU squad, who ranked first in the nation in scoring defense and total defense. Yadda yadda Dolphins later, Muschamp found himself at Auburn, where I decided that he is one of my favorite characters in the college football world, mainly because of this:
During the Great Georiga Tech Coaching Search of 2008, Muschamp's name was thrown around (he was actually renamed to simply BMFY!) by many Tech fans, reactionary against the previous, mostly sedated coaching staff.
While he did not get the head coaching job at Tech, he left Auburn to take the job at Texas, whose defense was, well, kinda shitty in the 2007 season. Muschamps Longhorns defense has not allowed more than 14 points in any game - with the average margin of victory for the Horns being 35.8 points, Muschamp has kept everything nice and comfortable. These results are mainly due to the fact that he not afraid to make an example out of himself in order to make a statement.
Delving into the mind of the player he is talking to, one can only guess the reaction is along the lines of, "Man, this is some ol' bullshit... that mother****er is bleeding! We need to fumble, now. I have to get the **** out of here.
That's right, that's blood. And while that cut could probably happen to anybody, the probable displays of crazy just seem expected out of ol' WM. Word on the street is that Clemson is looking to pick up BMFY!, and insider information is that he plans to take a bite out of Howard's Rock, just to show everyone how serious he is.
Today, drink to Will Muschamp, a true college football badass.
Dane, Winfield, and Bird make up the unique combination of Georgia Tech students and alumni who share the passionate hatred for all things University [sic] of Georgia.
Winfield is a 4th generation Tech legacy, Dane is a convert, and Bird is a former Ramblin' Reck Driver. When their powers combine they become The Legacyx4.
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